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   Sunday, August 16, 2026 at 3:13 AM
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   Monday, September 7, 2026 at 2:27 AM

"We should catch up" is not a plan

"We should catch up" has been sitting in your messages since spring. It is not a plan. There is no day in it, no time and no address, so it quietly never happens and neither of you is really at fault. The research here is stronger than most people realize. Researchers pooled 148 studies following more than 300,000 people for an average of seven and a half years, and people with stronger social ties had about 50 percent greater odds of surviving the follow-up period. Holt-Lunstad and colleagues, PLoS Medicine, 2010. The limit, because this gets oversold everywhere: these are observational studies. They show a strong and consistent association, not proof that adding a friend adds years. People who are already well tend to be more connected in the first place. The useful part is that the size of your circle never came into it. It held for the quality and the regularity of contact. You do not need a community. You need two or three people who expect you. So make it a plan. Name the day, name the place, name the hour. Cook the thing you already know how to cook. Set the table for more people than live in your house, even once a month. Hebrews 10:25: "not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another." That phrase, as some are in the habit of doing, has described people for two thousand years. A habit can be broken on an ordinary Tuesday. Comment the first name of the person you are texting. Then go and text her, because a comment is not a text.